Pipeline Sucks!

Pipeline Person ClintE noted today that Pipeline has been in a state of semi-hiatus of late. He also observed that tends to make a blog suck. I’d try to pass it off as minimalist art, but he speaks the truth: Pipeline Sucks.

I have a theory about blogs, which is that pretty much they all suck. Every single one of them, Pipeline included. Right now, in fact, I can’t think of a single blog that doesn’t suck, or at least suck the life out of me while I’m reading it. Don’t you agree? Can’t you feel it right now, the sensation that you should probably be doing something else?

When blogs first came to prominence in the early 2000’s they were hailed as a revolution in “personal publishing” or any number of other dated phrases meant to mean that anybody could write whatever they wanted and their friends basically had to endure it as long as the author kept cranking out the material. Bloggers were “empowered” or “organic journalists” or “stoned” or “relevant forces of change in the new millennium”.

But what really happened to cause that Blog Heyday of 2002-2006? Sure, the authoring tools and high-speed internet made it all possible. But people weren’t blogging or reading blogs because the blogging was so awesome. No. Blogs and blog readership shot through the roof because the country was in a national state of mourning over the Bush Administration. Nobody wanted to read the “media” because the media had screwed us in every way possible. And basically, people wanted to disengage reality and engage in the biggest orgy of self-indulgence our nation has known since our last huge orgy of self-indulgence, roughly the period between 1955 and 1999.

But now we’ve read all the blogs and blog entries we can stomach, and even our closest, most talented blogging friends can’t change the fact that blogs suck, and the much-heralded blogging revolution has passed.

Coming next: The good people at Nintendo legitimize the holy grail of combined video game playing and masturbation. See you in four years!

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11 Responses to Pipeline Sucks!

  1. kelly says:

    Spring hits Minnesota and now all blogs suck? Granted I just started one….. and oddly, I took inspiration from you. I think the one thing that did happen, even with your spring respites, is keep a whole lot of people in the know about your life. And while that is largely a one-way dialog, you kind of stay in touch with people this way.

    Rather than think of blogging as a self-publishing trend about to die because politics have found legitimate media coverage……. consider it as an amazing alternative to phones. Or as an moderate improvement of content available to your friends at work. How many phone calls you taking from old friends between 9 and 5?

  2. pipelineblog says:

    Well, point taken. I admit that not ALL blogs suck. But I do think it’s undeniable that blogging isn’t quite the item it was, say, three years ago.

    Yeah, no question, this is my best way to stay in touch with people I otherwise would not be in touch with. Plus the creative outlet thing, and blah, blah, blah. We’re in the midst of an ice storm with a predicted 8 inches of snow on top of it tomorrow, so forgive me for being a bit punchy.

  3. A. Robot says:

    Your commentary is very interesting to me. Thank you for sharing your insightful writing style. Maybe you can have a look at my blog which also sucks. http://www.robotsellsyouboners.com

  4. Paul says:

    I think that the facebook/myspace/etc sites have created a happy medium in a lot of ways. Blogs for lazy people, you might say. You can post text comment when you want, but if you don’t there are still a dozen other features that allow you to maintain activity. And because the network means that you’re updated whenever a “friend” does something, your personal page is always busy with new tidbits. As Kelly says, it’s an amazing improvement over phones — you publish content not worth a phone call, but that keeps your friends up with what you’re doing.

    But for the record, your blog doesn’t suck.

  5. Jim says:

    Blogs are still out of control–political blogs are more and more important. But, as the owner of a shitty blog, I half-agree.

    Thank you for sharing your insightful writing style.

  6. Nathan D says:

    NO!

    The real problem is people who haven’t jumped on the RSS bandwagon — if you’re still visiting blogs regularly hoping to find new content, you really need to get yourself a way to subscribe to the feeds of the blogs you read — it means you never visit hoping to find new content and don’t, and it takes the burden off the blogger to post something fresh every freakin’ day.

    I for one think this blog is decidedly unsucky.

    I mean, I would totally out of touch with you (and your kids) if not for this blog. Plus I could not berate you for several years about that black sweater. Nor would I have the joy of knowing that someone out there drives around every day with a rotting hot dog in their car. The blog “heyday” is just beginning. Long live peer media!

  7. Nathan D says:

    Oh, and you have to read that “NO!” as if you were Stephen Colbert to get the full effect.

  8. blaze says:

    Have you tried Video Blogging? Maybe put a camera on top of your work PC?

  9. pipelineblog says:

    Video blogging? That’s not a bad idea. I have the technology…

  10. Dave Kingston says:

    I gotta second Nate on this one. Get an RSS reader like google reader and subscribe to the content. Its a far superior way to experience the web.

  11. Schmelly says:

    your blog sucks the very least of them all. Sorry i never comment any more, work, kid, all that shite. I’ll try to do better, so get to typing.

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