Hot Dog Update

The AMC Eagle Hot Dog lives.

Hot Dog!

Now, first thing, I admit last time I embellished the Hot Dog’s overall loss of color. Even still, it appears to be grayer somehow in real life than it does in this photo. You’ll just have to trust me, that may appear to be a moderately crappy yet fresh hot dog from a convenience store rotation grill. And it’s all that except for one thing–fresh. It’s been in that seat since at least October 5, two months ago today (photo taken yesterday).

I also see that I was mistaken about the two containers sitting on top of the Hot Dog. One is some kind of sandwich on rye, which I thought was sautee’d mushrooms for some reason. Although, I do seem to have correctly called the barbeque beef in the top container. And, you see the empty hot dog container on top. That’s a new addition. Good to know that whenever this person wanted a hot dog, they didn’t just reach down for the one in the passenger seat that’s been there for two months. I think at this point, given the sheer amount of biological activity that must be taking place within the Hot Dog, it’s appropriate to refer to it as a full-fledged passenger.

Also, on the floor there appears to be a container of either spaghetti or Chinese food with a fork in it. Not sure how long that’s been there.

For the record, I know it’s been the same Hot Dog this whole time. I seek this car out as I walk through the parking lot, and I almost always find it. Regular checking. It’s the same Hot Dog.

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19 Responses to Hot Dog Update

  1. Dave R says:

    That very well may be spaghetti, but for some reason it pleases me to see it as Chinese leftovers. Thats the story I’m sticking with until proven wrong.

  2. david says:

    It looks like spaghettios to me. I so very badly need to see a picture of this person. The food – vehicle combination has generated a sizeable list of imagined stereotyped traits. Thank god it’s winter in MN… now those food products will be nicely preserved for the next several months…

  3. My coworkers have asked me to stake out the vehicle to get a glimpse of its disgusting and elusive owner. We all agree it’s a man, one who must smell very, very bad, and likely also has no sense of smell.

    Who would eat spaghetti O’s with a fork? In a to-go container? Of course, we are dealing with an extreme outlier here of some sort, so I suppose anything is possible.

  4. blaze says:

    $20 if you get a photo of the person getting in the car…I had such high image of 3M employees especially since my dad worked there for 30+ years, I’m really curious what kind of stumblebum keeps a car like this.

  5. david says:

    It’s probably George Buckley’s car.

  6. kelly says:

    While there are obviously psychological factors in play here. I’m envisioning someone who can’t throw away food, like a depression era survivor, only maybe they once spun off the road on a Minnesota winter and lost an emaciated brother to starvation. Stuff like that scars ya’know.

  7. david says:

    You would die of hypothermia long before you’d die of starvation. I think it’s a guy who’s secretly in love with the convenience store girl. He’s too shy to admit his love for her, so he just stops there on a regular basis and buys random stuff. Once she’s touched the food (fondled his wiener), he can’t bear to eat it. Obviously, she wasn’t working on his most recent visit to the Super America; hence, the empty hot dog boat.

  8. Yes, I like Dave’s theory. This guy probably doesn’t smoke, either, he just bought the lighter and Camels for further interaction with his convenience store crush.

    Doesn’t explain why he’s driving a 1980 AMC Eagle, though.

    At what point does slovenliness become a mental issue? Every crazy old lady with 100 cats in the house starts with just one cat. Maybe this passenger seat is the genesis of a very serious mental illness. I’ve felt guilty about violating this person’s privacy for some time now, but I seem powerless to stop it as long as that Hot Dog is still present and accounted for.

  9. Becky O says:

    I, too, will chip in $20 to see a photo of the car owner. This could be lucrative for you, Doug.

  10. Mr Fares says:

    I believe that the AMC Eagle shares at least one trait with it’s nigh indestructible predecessors, the Hornet and the Ambassador. AMC sedans have near perfect door seals and powerful climate controls making them highly efficient humidors. This guy is some sort of collector. Trunk is probably full of mummies and the glove box is packed with cigars. I say watch the prices at the SA go up and that stuff is on eBay. That isn’t junk food, it’s the commodoties market.

    I bet the guy has a monocle and a velvet jacket.

  11. Sean says:

    Harper Collins just announced that they’re publishing Gregory Maguire’s new novel, a re-telling of these entries from the hot dog’s point of view.

  12. blaze says:

    I was originally picturing a Jack Black/Silent Bob type of character but then this guy doesn’t finish his food so probaly more Jay than Silent Bob.

    What’s in the backseat?
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/AMC_Eagle

  13. Scotch says:

    If the wiener becomes sentient does that mean he can take the carpool lane?

  14. martha says:

    Sean, you kill me.

  15. Steve says:

    This is classic.

  16. Nathan D says:

    OM(F)G.

    I don’t think looking in someone’s car in a parking lot full of cars is not really a violation — well, OK, maybe a little bit of a violation. But, we understand — you cannot look away. I’m thinking time-lapse…

  17. Just walked by the car a few moments ago. Everything is still there, and despite temps in the low teens, the windows are open, as they almost always are. (But when it snows they are up, so I know they work.)

  18. Pingback: Hot Dog Update « Pipeline

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